Hello !
Northern Virginia Jeepers Association
December 13, 2019, 04:50:48 PM

Pages: [1] Go Down
Author Topic: Jeep rules  (Read 1895 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Member 2019 VA4WD
Posts: 1139
« on: July 30, 2019, 06:15:46 PM »

"The rules of jeeping" (copied from another site)

1. Never take your wife wheeling AND forget the toilet paper.
2. Always blame your spotter.
3. A taller lift and larger tires will temporarily lower the driver’s IQ.
4. Never own more than one Jeep at a time.
5. All mud, no matter where it is in the world, smells like buns.
6. And the worse the mud smells, the greater the likelihood of you having to climb out and pull cable.
7. When someone says that you are standing in their line……..move!
8. Conversely, when I tell you my rig is going to be where you are standing in just a second…..it is.
9. “Just bump it a little” is not a phrase understood by most people. Get the hell out of the way.
10. Repeat after me…..”Honey, if I can just get this one last part, the Jeep will be done”.
11. The Jeep is never “done”. Anyone who says that theirs is, is lying.
12. Never lock a D30.
13. Never lock a D35. And btw, there’s no such thing as a Super 35.
14. Set up your winch remote BEFORE you need it…..Dumbass!
15. Tevas are not suitable footwear for wheeling.
16. Don’t forget the bug spray.
17. Oops is not a word you want to hear from your mechanic, your Doctor or particularly, your spotter.
18. Yes, your rig is going to get scratched. If you have an aversion to this, stay home. Better yet, buy a Honda.
19. One man’s definition of a stocker run is not necessarily another’s. Take a look at the person’s rig for clarification.
20. Extreme depends on your point of view.
21. Stay far, far away from the “hold my beer and watch this” crowd.
22. Never wheel alone. And never forget your winch remote in the barn……..ever.
23. Never, ever spot for your wife or girlfriend.
24. Whatever tool you need, just stop looking now…..it’s at home in the garage.
25. No, I will not run the winch for you. I will stand behind a tree out of the line of fire.
26. If you enjoy standing in the rain, up to your knees in mud, getting eaten by mosquitoes the size of small birds, all the while tearing up hundred dollar bills, you’re going to love wheeling.
27. Have proper recovery points, because if it means me not missing dinner, I will rip the front axle right out from under your rig.
28. When someone is decent enough to tell you that you can’t make a particular obstacle (see #33), do yourself a favor and listen to them.
29. Windows and top up and AC on does not make you a pansy. It makes you smarter than they are.
30. The primary uses of the CB radio are to heckle your friends and to decide where you’re going to eat and drink after the run.
31. Turn the damned CB off when you go into the restaurant however so that I don’t have to jump your rig.
32. Anyone with a programmable horn should never be allowed to wheel with you.
33. Just remember when your “friends” are “encouraging” you, they all have their cameras out.
34. If you don’t think it’s a good idea, it probably isn’t.
35. Never wheel with Subarus.
36. Momentum can be your friend but speed almost never is.
37. Avoid people who think that money can buy talent.
38. If someone says, “just bounce it off the rev limiter”, bounce something off their head.
39. Never discuss politics, religion or tires in polite company.
40. If the person in front of you does something stupid, you are under no obligation to make the same mistake.
41. Money and enthusiasm does not a wheeler make. Stay far away from the highly enthused noob.
42. Gas up BEFORE you arrive at the trailhead because next time we’re leaving your dumb buns.
43. Never be enticed by the phrase, “that line has never been successfully done before”.
44. Always check actual retail price of Jeep parts BEFORE you buy something on CL that looks like a good deal.
45. Never buy gears or tires used.
46. Be very selective about who you will let spot for you, VERY selective.
47. Washing transfer case parts in the dishwasher is very effective. Just don’t get caught.
48. Discretion is always the better part of valor.
49. Never make a bet that will cause you to have to wear a dress on the next run if you lose.
50. When your wife tells you not to do something……don’t.
51. Never make banjo sounds where the indigenous population can hear you.
52. Always use the valet cart to move your doors into your room at a five star resort.
53. A guy wearing a “Trail Guide” shirt is, in all likelihood, no smarter than you are. Witness the fact that I own several
54. Get in, sit down, hold on and shut up.
55. Addendum to above. When I panic then you can.
56. Glazed donuts make great hamburger buns.
57. Gas prices rise along with the size of your rig.
58. Breakdowns are exponentially more expensive the bigger your rig gets.
59. With very few exceptions, leave spares home. You’re not going to have what you need anyway.
60. Exceptions include belts, hoses and u-joints.
61. Speed costs money. How slow do you want to go?
62. When wheeling with a large group, always try to be near the front of the pack. Trust me.
63. When someone says, “trust me”, run and hide.
64. 35s will not fit on your Libby. I don’t care what the tire store told you.
65. Don’t take your doors off on a muddy day.
66. “Trail Rated” does not mean what you think it does.
67. It doesn’t mean what Jeep thinks it does either.
68. One spotter at a time. The rest of y’all can STFU!
69. Self explanatory.
70. Life is too short to drink cheap beer or to wheel with Dorks.
71. After three unsuccessful tries, pull cable.
72. Any more than that and the rest of us will encourage you to do something really stupid.
73. Wheel while you can because the vocal minority wants the keys to your rig.
74. No one will get a picture of you conquering the unconquerable, but screw up just this much and everybody gets it on film.
75. The camera never does justice to the terrain.
76. Ignore the moron with the junkyard refugee who says that you never wheel.
77. Just buy the ProRock 44 and be done with it……life is too short for major projects.
78. A TJ frame in the Northeast is rusted. I don’t care how good it looks.
79. The next new Jeep will be a disappointment to enthusiasts also…..get used to it.
80. Never attend a wheeling event with the intention of just watching. It never works out.
81. Air down.
82. Put it in 4WD before you think you need to. Don’t be “that” guy.

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk


EVO long arms and King Coil overs
37 BFG KM3
Dynatrac, PSC, Barnes, Ried, RCV....

"Keep calm and carry on, No Thanks! I would rather raise hell and change the world."
Member 2019 VA4WD/BRC
Posts: 228
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2019, 07:23:03 PM »

These are great.... while I like to wear flip flops, I do keep boots in my trail bag. Lol

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Member 2019
Posts: 601
84 CJ7
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2019, 08:29:08 AM »

I love it - 29 & 78 in particular...  Thumbs Up


4" Lift on 33's
4.2L w/HESCO MFI & Howard Cam
T-5 & Dana 300
Smittybilt 9,500 Winch
Spartan Locker

2018 JKU - box stock
2002 TJ Sahara w/Very Rusted Frame
Member 2019 VA4WD
Posts: 1139
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2019, 08:47:28 AM »

#40 is my favorite


EVO long arms and King Coil overs
37 BFG KM3
Dynatrac, PSC, Barnes, Ried, RCV....

"Keep calm and carry on, No Thanks! I would rather raise hell and change the world."
Club President
Posts: 10170
Crap, someone call Trevor.
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2019, 08:55:01 AM »

#40 is my favorite

I have a gopro and I'm just happy I'm no longer goded into doing it for the camera.


The only thing about a Yj that's reliable is its mechanic.

Joey to Mike- That's more like it! Never done.....just outta money at the moment.

atjeep-Every time a YJ passes inspection, an angel gets it's wings.
Posts: 12092
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2019, 09:25:53 AM »

I love it - 29 & 78 in particular...  Thumbs Up
The “Northeast” includes the entire east coast. And Cincinnati, OH (for CJs).

I guess the TJ really is the new CJ.



1984 CJ-8 Scrambler
3.5" lift
DD and trail toy

1949 CJ 3a - Stock - Garage queen

2015 JKU - Completely stock - Family mobile
Thread Jackin' 24/7
Committee: Events
Posts: 5669
JEEP stands for Personal Freedom and Happiness!!
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2019, 05:18:18 PM »

These are great.... while I like to wear flip flops, I do keep boots in my trail bag. Lol

This was Travis on Peters Mill a few weeks back.  I saw a black bear on the trail and he went from flip flops to boots!  Thumbs Up  ROTFL


Big Mike - 2012 JKU Crush, 2.5" Teraflex Lift with Shocks, JKS Quick Discos, RockHard4x4 Skids and Evap Relocation Bracket, JCR Crusader Bumpers (mid-width front, mid-width rear), Teraflex HD hinge tire carrier, SmittyBilt h2o winch, 16x8 ATX wheels with 315-75-16 General Grabber AT2's.
Forum User
Posts: 187
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2019, 12:38:47 PM »

These are great!

Here’s a few others:
Having bear spray at hand guarantees you will never need it
Everyone else’s rig is a mall crawler
Tell your wife it’s broken when you want to upgrade
Car washes only like clean jeeps
Stubby antennas look cool and that’s about it
Keys are great for prying trail debris from mudders
You’ll never get anything for your mods when you sell so you will hunt for free stock parts in a futile hope that someone will pay you something for them
Packing on the trail doesn’t mean lunch


2014 "Overland"
AEV 2.5" Lift
M/T Baja MTZ 33" on M/T Classic Lock Wheels
JKS Discos
Smittybilt XRC MOD Front & XRC Gen2 Rear Bumpers
Smittybilt X2O 12K Comp Winch
sPod SE Bluetooth
Cobra 75
Truck Lite & JW Speaker LED fog lights
Baja Designs LED Lights
Rugged Ridge Tube Doors & Rock Sliders
Member 2019 VA4WD
Posts: 1139
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2019, 09:31:41 AM »

Another addition....

-----Just because you got up that trail before  is no indication you can go up it again.

----- Pick your own Damn Line, mine will not work for you (see #40)

-----" pick your line"  Most have no idea what that means... so they will follow you ( see #40)

----- if you are standing with someone who says "See that line? I can do that."  stand back , grab the camera, and don't be on the down hill side of the "Line".

----- Water = higher difficulty rating and  broken things   


EVO long arms and King Coil overs
37 BFG KM3
Dynatrac, PSC, Barnes, Ried, RCV....

"Keep calm and carry on, No Thanks! I would rather raise hell and change the world."
Pages: [1] Go Up
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal

President: Stephen Clough (overhead) | Vice President: Donnie Herrity (Jeepin_Donnie) | Secretary: Robyn Kronthal (sticksout)
Treasurer: Danille Wilson (TJ Girl) | Member-at-large: Brit Nora (rebel4sale)

Board of Directors:
Andrew Harvin (HarvinJeep) | Dave Plummer (HAWAIICJ) | Sean McCready (Unl1mtd)
Jeff Wilson (jwilson2598) | Aaron Thomson (Jeep Freak) | Dain Wilson (Gr8Dain)

Founding Fathers:
 Jason Markvart (LNDSRK)  | Steve Scott (Islander90) | Josh Storer (Jastor)| Mike Finelli (BiggMike) | John Harper (Opie)

Disclaimer Statement:
All images from NoVaJeepers.net are exclusive to the Northern Virginia
Jeepers Association. Any reproduction of exclusive Northern Virginia
Jeepers Association material is strictly prohibited without written
consent of the Northern Virginia Jeepers Association. Jeep,
Wrangler, Cherokee, Commander, Compass, Patriot, Liberty, Unlimited,
Rubicon, SRT, HEMI and Grand Cherokee are copyrighted and trademarked
to Chrysler LLC. NoVaJeepers.com, Northern Virginia Jeepers Association
is not in any way associated with the Chrysler LLC.
Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines | Theme Design by: Xarcell